It's Okay to Disappoint others! Just Don't Disappoint Yourself!

"Behind all our fears rests the key to all our happiness!"

So, get over your fear of disappointing others!

One of the biggest lies I hear people tell, and see people tweet is.... " I don't give a F$%# what anyone thinks of me!" That is nothing but a bunch of... LIES LIES LIES!!! Yes, I am calling you out!!!

I spent my freshman year of college in pure misery.  I grew up in Elkhart, Indiana and the options there were pretty much college, babies, or both. So, I chose the first option, even though everything in my body was screaming Hollywood! I wanted to act, and have secretly (until now) practiced  my acceptance speech for my Oscar in the mirror since I can remember. But, college was just what you were suppose to do, and I did not want to disappoint anyone.

My problem? I hated to disappoint people. I hated to think of my loved ones in a room saying "Ah, Lexsi, she had so much potential, but she ran off to Hollywood. What a disappointment." (I mean once I was in movies and all over billboards I knew they would look past that, but I was just thinking about their initial reactions. ; )

Guess they were afraid I would go from this ....

to this...

My senior year of high school I was getting recruited for Volleyball, Basketball and Track. I had played sports since I was three, and I remember sitting in my dorm room (College-prep school) after I had just got off the phone with a coach that was recruiting me, and I saying to myself. "It's time for something else. Sports are over for you, or at least it is time to put them on hold." And so I stopped answering calls,  I sent out tons of "Thanks, but no thanks" letters, and I hung up my cleats, sneakers, knee pads, etc! My coaches and fans were shocked! Angry even! My first months of college I spent many nights going back and forth thinking.   "Was this it, did I make the right decision to final be just a student?"

An than my second year of college, that little voice in my head started talking to me! (You know the normal voice in your head not the crazy ones), and then it started yelling at me!!!! "Get to LA, get to LA!" So, I could not fight it anymore, I had to do the same thing I had to do my senior year of high school. I had to disappoint some people. When I got here I questioned myself a little at first again. "Was this it, did I make the right decision to move all the way across the country, all by myself, to pursue my dreams?"

And the answer was and still is...Yes!

Right now I have aligned myself up perfectly with my dreams!

Although I have not accomplished all or really any of the major goals I have placed for myself in my life, I know that I am in the right place, around the right people, and it is only a matter of it becoming the right time. I am a contestant in the Miss California Pageant. Even though some of my team mates said "Pageants aren't for athletes" Ha! I want to be an actress, and I have Jamie Foxx as a mentor, helping me make decisions that are not only better for my career but better for my life. I also have Akon as someone that I can call on when I need advice for when I get discouraged. And none of that would have been possible had I been too scared to let people know I was going to have to let them down.

The crazy thing is, more times than none...letting someone down is just what you need to bring yourself up!

Just some food for thought, because I love to eat! : )

Lexsi Lewis ... Muah !!! xxx