I have changed... Thank God!!!

When people tell me "You have changed"  I say "Thank you" and that is where the conversation ends.

The Lexsi that stands here today is a million times better than the one that was here 5 years ago, and is nowhere near as amazing as the Lexsi of tomorrow, so it always makes me laugh inside when people try and tell me I have changed like it is a bad thing. I was raised in lil' ol' Elkhart, Indiana, and I did not have much.  When I was young I moved a lot, and my sophomore year of high school robbing banks and getting pregnant were more popular than graduating and going to college. That was my environment! Than my junior year of high school I was blessed to move away and go to a college prep school in Maryland. (Thank you Hunter family!) I went from seeing a fight everyday at school to girls riding horses. Half of the girls had never seen a fight but had been to rehab. I no longer had to worry about someone trying to fight me over nothing but I did have to learn to say no to the temptation of hard drugs.

I have been an athlete since I could walk, so drugs were never something I ever consider. But seeing some of the highest performing students and athletes take them, it made you wonder if they were really so bad. CHANGE. I had usually focused on avoiding fights (I was a part of a team all the time, and I never wanted to risk my position on the team), but now my attention went to avoiding drugs.Than, another move.

Tennessee. I have never heard the "N" word so much! People think Indiana is so racist, but in my 15 years of living there I only have had two incidents that really stick out to me as racist. Elkhart was a pretty mixed small city, (Well as far as black, whites, Mexicans) and my mother is white so it was just not something I really dealt with. But in Tennesee I heard little girls say "I hate black, I had refs blow their whistles if I would just go near the ball, while they would let me get smacked and scratched. I had a hard time in Tennessee, because in the other places I live I could avoid stuff (fights & drugs), but I could not avoid being half black. (Nor would I have wanted too) But I did change. I stopped being a people pleaser. I learned the first level of putting myself first. I finally understood that you can not please everybody. That sometimes people just are not going to like you. Than, another move.

College...in south Florida. Freshmen year brought my first real relationship, even though it was a terrible one. That probably brought my biggest change. I feel like I officially stopped being a girl than, and became a young woman. I learned that I would do crazy things for the one I love, BUT that I would never hold on to something that would threaten my life. I learned my limit. ( A very important lesson)

My Sophomore year I learned my favorite life lesson. (How to be happy) I had always found ways to have fun here and there, but I don't think I truly knew happiness until that spring semester of my second year of college. I had a guy that really cared about me, I had the best friends a girl could have, we were in Miami having the time of our lives with the amazing artist like Ne-Yo, Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, and the list goes on, school covered basically all living expenses, and my family and the fitness center kept money in my pockets. I had no worries. I have always been an optimistic person, but that time of my life was verification that being positive was worth it. I know there are plenty of people out there that have never experienced happiness in every aspect of there life at once, so I know I was blessed to have done so at such a young age. Than, another move.

Hollywood! The list of lessons I have learned here could and would go on and on for days, so I wont even begin to list them. But, I have defiantly let my self love grow, learned that there are some bad people in the world that just do not want good for other people, learned about paying bills, and learned that my mind and my thoughts control my destiny.

I learned to bite my tongue, I have learned to trust my instincts, I have learned to separate from people that are not good for me, I have learned that I can have true happiness, I have learned that I can truly be whatever I put my mind too, I have learned to befriend most any type of person, I have learned to put my self first without being selfish, I have changed!

Everyday some part of you should change. You have to learn something new everyday. The people that say "you've changed" like its a bad thing are usual the people in your life that you realized you do not need there in the first place. If you are always complaining about me and I hear about it, of course how I interact with you is going to change.

Sometimes you can become a worse person and it is always good to look in the mirror and make sure the refection you are looking at today is better than the one from the day before. If it is worse than work towards making it better everyday, but if it is better...stay in that path, and every time someone says you have changed smile and say "Thank you"

Just some food for thought, because I love to eat!

Lexsi Lewis ... Mauh !!! xxx